December 15, 2018

Saoirse is One

To my first child, on her first birthday

Today you are one year old. It feels like mere minutes since the moment you were born into my hands, and I lifted you to my chest and gazed upon your face for the first time. You entered this world quietly, peacefully, with your eyes wide open. A year ago you made me a mother, and you changed our lives forever.

Everyday I watch you grow and everyday I learn about the value of time and presence. I can't believe how much you've grown this year, and I know it will only get faster. In many ways you're not my little baby anymore, the one I could carry on one arm and who slept on my chest all day. Now you would rather ride on your daddy's shoulders, and you never stay still long enough for me to kiss you. But sometimes you still sleep on my chest, and it is the most precious thing I know. It breaks my heart to know that the tiny person you were is already gone, but I am so looking forward to who you are becoming.

You are born on the day of Lughnasa. Half way between the Summer Solstice and the Spring Equinox. On this day, many years ago, people gathered to honor the bounty of Summer and prepare for the Harvest. Lugh was the God of the Sun, Master of Culture and Arts. It is said he had many gifts, and could charm people with his words and his presence. I can see why you chose to be born on his Day.

Thank you for being my child. You have taught me more about life in a year of being your Mama than I learnt on my own in 27 years before you. You teach me to be the best person, lover and parent I can be. You inspire me to do better and grow. I have no words to say how grateful I am that I get to share this life with you and your Papa in this crazy world. I feel so lucky that you chose to be born to us.

May I be worthy of that choice. May I be always a growing presence around you, the Mother you need me to be. May I find the treasures of patience, kindness and joy that you see in me. May I protect you and uplift you always.

Happy 1st birthday, my love. May we bring you as much joy as you bring us.

Photos are from our summer trip to France.

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